Bono Looks Sanctimonious Cock as Game Investment Row Flares

Invasion sim angers. Rock Star in middle

Posted by Staff
Bono Looks Sanctimonious Cock as Game Investment Row Flares
U2's Bono has been ensnared in a row involving big business, a South American Invasion conspiracy theory and his fleet of golden helicopters as an investment in games outfit Pandemic sparks outrage.

You see, although the Irish rocker is usually on pay-per-view TV performing his latest album detailing the woes of the greed of man, he still had time to set up a private equity investment company which stuck a cool $300 million into the developer, on the rise following the success of Full Spectrum Warrior, a game originally developed to train America soldiers to be better at killing.

The game causing Bono's cash-magnet the problem is Mercenaries II: World in Flames, the tagline of which reads, "If you see it you can buy it, steal it, or blow the living crap out of it," and depicts an America invasion of Venezuela, an invasion seen as a real possibility by the embattled government lead by President Hugo Chavez. The title according to its developer "...is an explosive open-world action game set in a massive, highly reactive, war-torn world. A power-hungry tyrant messes with Venezuela's oil supply, sparking an invasion that turns the country into a warzone."

Chavez has, since being democratically elected in 1998, has kept true to his word of aiding the country's poor, though the media, largely funded by his opponents, broadcasts constant messages undermining his position. Having steered the country through a recession linked to low America gasoline prices, Chavez survived a short-lived coup in 2002 and can now boast significant improvements in health care and poverty reduction.

However, now that gasoline prices are rocketing, Venezuela is seen by many as a possible target for Bush's Oil-driven global war on the weak. The nation produces 3.137 million barrels of oil per day making it the 8th biggest producer on earth. Compare this to Iraq's 2.377 million barrels and it's not difficult to understand why conspiracy theorists believe the US war machine might well target a weaker local nation with massive natural reserves. Oh, then add into the equation the massive funding the Bush administration has channeled to Chavez's political opponents...

So how does this reflect on Bono, the man who cares about all kinds of poor and vulnerable people around the world. Simply put, Mercenaries II is a Venezuela invasion simulator. And those expecting an invasion from the US are not at all pleased. “It sends a message to Americans," said Gabriela Ramirez, a member of the National Assembly, to the Associated Press. "‘You have a danger next door, here in Latin America, and action must be taken’. It’s a justification for an imperialist aggression.”

Shirley Pate, of the Venezuelan Solidarity Network in Washington, said: “Mercenaries II shows an attack on the entire city of Caracas, not just the government buildings but also the residential areas.”

Although a lot of the reactions are over the top, the game can rightly be seen as a desensitising tool. Remember how all Russians were evil? Now it's the Arabs. Soon it might well be the South Americans and it's this reality the people of Venezuela are rightly watchful of. Indeed, Chavez's administration recently (March 2006) began recruiting an army designed to deter any potential threat. Of course, this program backfired inside 24 hours, with the press, guided by the White House, able to depict the leader as yet another generic foreign madman, armed to the teeth and openly anti-American.

Interestingly, Bono has been courting the favour of the Bush administration of late prompting the US president to say in March of this year, "So I've gotten to know Bono. He's a doer. The thing about this good citizen of the world is he's used his position to get things done. You're an amazing guy, Bono. God bless you."

And we believe that about covers it.

For the record, Scott Walker, head designer of Mercenaries II went on record to say "[The game] is a work of fictional entertainment. The story, characters and setting of the game should in no way be construed as negative towards the current Venezuelan government or the people of the country. One of the key reasons Venezuela was chosen for the setting of Mercenaries 2 is that is a fascinating and colourful country, full of wonderful architecture, geography and culture.”


Comments

SorelissLarethian 7 Jul 2006 10:43
1/10
"One of the key reasons Venezuela was chosen for the setting of Mercenaries 2 is that is a fascinating and colourful country, full of wonderful architecture, geography and culture."


Now your task in this game is to burn it down along with all who opose you :D
dranann 7 Jul 2006 14:09
2/10
Maybe for the game they could pay Bono a few quid to sing a reworking of U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" singing about American computer game characters attacking defenseless cities?

I'm hoping that the points system for the character won't be money earned - it'll be barrels of oil secured (or maybe, "Cadilac Miles" worth of gasoline?)

The first Mercenaries game may have been great fun, but it left a bitter taste. It was obnoxious, hard-right American propaganada... and the concept for the sequel is far worse. So presumably it'll sell buckets in the States.
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Andrew 7 Jul 2006 14:13
3/10
I'd like a game where Bono, Geldof and the other preaching, sanctimonious rock-star philosophers get blown to kingdom-come (preferably by me with a gigantic Quake grenade launcher). I'd pre-order *that* baby!
PreciousRoi 7 Jul 2006 23:19
4/10
mebbe a videogame based on Team America: World Police...
TigerUppercut 8 Jul 2006 02:40
5/10
I f**king love you guys.
:-)
SPInGSPOnG 8 Jul 2006 08:38
6/10
PreciousRoi wrote:
mebbe a videogame based on Team America: World Police...


YES! Another piss-poor and desparately un-funny videogame that takes cheap pot-shots at anything that moves without having any clear message or agenda. That's JUST what we need.
PreciousRoi 8 Jul 2006 15:49
7/10
Yes! Another piss-poor and desperately unfunny post from Rod Todd. Second only to his avatar in quick wit and imaginative thinking.

Moschops 8 Jul 2006 18:59
8/10
PreciousRoi wrote:
Yes! Another piss-poor and desperately unfunny post from Rod Todd. Second only to his avatar in quick wit and imaginative thinking.

is somebody going to have a pissing match over team america? its realy really not worth it
TigerUppercut 9 Jul 2006 05:00
9/10
The movie had some funny bits. Tried to watch it three times. Fell asleep every time. Says it all I guess. Is the ending good?
SPInGSPOnG 9 Jul 2006 10:31
10/10
Moschops wrote:

is somebody going to have a pissing match over team america? its realy really not worth it


As if I'd respond to someone called Pretentious Roy, who has biggles for an avatar, and who presumes to liken himself to the Good Doctor (despite the clear contradistinction between Hunted T's politics and those of Team America) even though he's probably never done anything more adventurous then visit Six Flags.
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